


"I Do" Means Something Different These Days

by AniRay



Category: Queen of the South (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, F/M, Falling In Love, Love Triangles, but not really, it's complicated - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 00:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22227094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AniRay/pseuds/AniRay
Summary: “I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride.”Then the true weight of what happened settled over her.She was married- legally married...To James.
Relationships: James Valdez/Teresa Mendoza, Jeresa - Relationship, Minor Teresa/Guero, Teresa Mendoza/James Valdez
Comments: 16
Kudos: 96





	1. I

“I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Teresa’s breath hitched in her throat. Her hands shook where they rested in James’. But her smile never dimmed. When he leaned in she met him halfway. And as their lips touched she felt the first tear fall. James noticed- she knew he did. Because when he pulled away, his eyes were empty. His hand came up and gently wiped her tear away.

The audience thought it was sweet. They thought her tears were of joy. The audience was wrong. But Teresa kept smiling. She let herself lean into James’ touch. Because it had to look real. They had to look in love. James’ hand slid down her arm to hold hers as they turned to leave the chapel. He had his acting smile on- the one she saw that first day, at the airport. She didn’t understand how anyone could believe it was real.

But people saw what they wanted to see.

They left the chapel and James opened her car door for her. This felt normal- the first thing that had all day. She watched him walk around the car and get in. She turned and smiled at the guests who had followed them out, hoping she looked happier than she felt. But Teresa couldn’t stop the sigh of relief when James pulled off and they turned the corner.

Then the true weight of what happened settled over her. She was married- legally married- to James. She was still grieving for Guero- still _in love_ with Guero- but now she was someone else’s wife. She had dreamed of this day. When she was little her mother would tell her stories about beautiful dresses and flowers, music and promises of love.

Then she had met Guero. The faceless man she had dreamed of when she was a child became Guero instead. There had been many nights that Teresa had fallen asleep with images of laughter and dancing and Guero holding her hand. But she never thought her wedding day would be like this.

There was music. There was food. She wore a lovely dress. But there was no laughter. And the promise that James had just made was nothing more than a way to further Camila’s business. Teresa’s vows were just as empty. But she had kept a smile on her face. She had let her tears fall and pretended to blush when the audience thought they were happy tears.

James knew better. He knew her. And even now when it was over and they were alone his eyes were still empty. It was strange, looking into his eyes and seeing nothing. It was not something Teresa was used to. James’ eyes said all the things he didn’t say with words. His worry, his anger, his pain- it was all there to see if you looked. But not now. And somehow that made this day even worse.

They had come a long way from her first day in America. They had learned to trust each other. But now, with one order from Camila, that was gone. It left Teresa unbalanced, feeling lost with the one person she had thought she could rely on in this. She imagined what Brenda would say if she were here. She wondered how different this would feel if had Guero been at the altar where James had.

She watched the city pass by through her window. She didn’t want to go back to Camila’s safe house. She didn’t want to listen to the woman gloat and preen over how well things were going. No, Teresa just wanted somewhere quiet to pull herself back together. The car turned down a back road and she turned to look at James.

“It’s a short cut to Camila’s.”

She wasn’t surprised he knew what she was going to ask before she asked it. They had worked together long enough by now. She didn’t turn back to her window though. Instead she watched the road in front of her. She saw a small house up ahead, pale yellow paint with white trim. James slowed down as they got closer. She turned to him as he pulled into the driveway. “Why are we here?”

He turned the car off and got out. Teresa followed him, not caring that the train of her dress was dragging in the dirt. She waited at the bottom of the stairs as James pulled a key out of his wallet. He opened the door and stepped in. Teresa waited, she knew he was making sure it was clear before she came in. The sudden thought that Guero wouldn’t have done that came to her. She pushed it down.

James reappeared and motioned for her to come in. “Camila wants us to stay here until things calm down. Give this whole thing some credibility.” Teresa simply nodded. It wasn’t like she had a choice- neither of them did. He motioned for her to follow him as he gave her a tour of the house. It was simple, but nice. It was the kind of house she’d have wanted with Guero.

She listened as James told her about the weapons cache in the basement. She noted the shed at the edge of the property that had a spare car and could be accessed from a tunnel leading from the basement. He showed her where weapons were hidden in each room. Then finally he left her alone to pull suitcases she hadn’t known were there out of the car.

“Camila had all new stuff bought for you.” Of course she did. Camila liked to control every detail- why should Teresa’s wardrobe be any different. Then she caught what James had said. Camila had bought clothes for _her_. She turned a questioning look towards James. ”I just packed my shit before I went to the chapel.” She nodded. She didn’t know why it had mattered to her in the first place.

James carried the bigger suitcase to the master bedroom and set it on the bed. Then she watched as he went to a door across the room and opened it. It went into the second bedroom. And she watched as James dropped his battered duffle bag onto that bed. She didn’t want to ask, but she knew he wouldn’t bring it up if she didn’t. “Aren’t we going to share a room?”

James paused for a moment- so briefly that if she hadn’t been looking for a reaction she wouldn’t have noticed. Her eyes dropped to his left hand and watched the movement of his thumb as it rubbed across his fingers. “It’s what Camila expects. But we both know what this is. I’m not going to make you uncomfortable in your own space.” 

Teresa let out the breath she had been holding. She wasn’t surprised. She knew James- knew the way he dealt with people. But she couldn’t help feeling relieved. She trusted him, they worked well together, and maybe there was something else lying beneath the surface. But she wasn’t ready to look at it yet. She still wanted to find a way out of Camila’s world. She still loved Guero too much to want anyone else. So she wrapped her arms around herself and nodded. “Thank you, James.”

She slipped back into her room and closed the door between them.

~*~*~

Camila had come over.

She brought Pote with her. And the wedding gifts from the reception James never drove them to. Teresa knew she was angry- embarrassed that the bride and groom hadn’t shown up to their own wedding reception. But Teresa didn’t’ care. The marriage wasn’t real and Camila was good at lying to people. Still, Teresa watched carefully as Camila spoke with James on the porch.

“Teresa.” She turned at the sound of Pote’s voice. The older man stood before her, watching her closely. She knew why. He was thinking of Guero and Gato and the day they chased her through the streets. He was thinking of Epifanio using her as a piece in his own games. “You don’t have to stay here. We can run.”

But she knew they couldn’t. She couldn’t afford to have Epifanio and Camila chasing her. And she didn’t want to put James in that position. They’d been through too much. She shook her head as she rested her hand on Pote’s arm. “I’ll be fine, Pote.” She turned back to the window. “James isn’t like Gato. And he has no reason to do what Guero did.” Pote let out on unconvinced grunt, but didn’t argue.

The door opened and Camila stepped inside, James right behind her. “Teresa, James,” the woman said. “The ceremony was lovely. I almost believed you two were in love.” It took all of Teresa’s willpower not to react. She wouldn’t give Camila the satisfaction. “Now that this has been settled, business can continue. In three months we will reach out to the Sepulveda family.”

James glanced at her for a moment before looking away. This was the first time they had been in the same room since they got here. She almost wished they’d had a chance to talk first. But there wasn’t anything to talk about. They were married. It was part of a job. Now they just had to play their parts until the time to act came. She looked at Pote and saw him watching James. Whatever he was seeing- he wasn’t happy about it. But Teresa pushed it aside.

Business came first.

Camila turned to face Teresa, a smug smile on her face. “I know that you two are close,” she said. “I need that- its why I chose you two.” Teresa bit her tongue in disgust. “But you need to be closer. In public and in private. So take this week off. A honeymoon of sorts. Because when you come back, there will not be a moment where you two aren’t madly in love with each other. Understood?”

Again Teresa’s eyes found James’. Again she watched for his reaction. But this time there was none. Straightening suddenly he walked to stand beside her. She watched him face Camila. “We know what to do, Camila. The job will get done.” The confidence in his voice both broke and soothed Teresa and she couldn’t understand why.

The older woman picked up her handbag from the table. Her face losing the amused sneer that had been there before. In its place was the cold expression that spoke of how powerful this woman was. “Pote, let’s go.” She turned towards the door, heels clicking against the hardwood sharply. “We’ll leave the newlyweds to their evening.” Then she and Pote were gone.

James stood in front of the locked door. He looked at her for a long moment and she did the same. It was really starting to sink in now. The sun had set, Camila and Pote were gone. It was just the two of them in this house- alone. It was their wedding night and neither of them knew what to do or say to the other. He ran a hand down his face the way she’d noticed he does when he’s anxious. “I’m gonna go to bed. Pote brought you a plate from the reception if you’re hungry.”

She watched as he headed upstairs. He didn’t look back. Turning towards the kitchen Teresa thought about her wedding night- the one she had dreamed about. There would be wine and candles. She would be wearing lingerie instead of leggings and a t-shirt. Guero would carry her up the stairs and into their bedroom- the bedroom they would share. It would be warm and light and full of love. She would be happy.

Instead she placed the plate Pote had brought into the microwave. She sat at the island and ate her food in silence and alone. And when she went upstairs there would be no wine, no candles, and no man who loved her ready to hold her. No, there would be an empty room, in a strange house, with cold sheets. She stabbed her fork into a slice of cake.

“Congratulations, Mrs. Valdez,” she whispered.

~*~*~

_Teresa walked into the house. It had been two months since Brenda died. Two months of living with Camila and acting as her business partner. Things were…okay. Camila’s business was growing and Teresa was learning more from her- even things she didn’t want to know. Pote had settled in. Although it was easier for him- he was used to working for the Vargas family._

_She quickly went to her room, dropping off the few things she’d bought while she was out. She preferred to shop for herself instead of letting Camila’s maid do it. The woman always watched too closely and Teresa didn’t need anyone else reporting on her to Camila. Setting down her bags she went back downstairs._

_Teresa made her way towards Camila’s office. She wanted to talk about moving things forward with King George. Things had been going well so far, but they would need more from him soon if the deal with the Colombians came through. She stopped outside of the closed office door and tried to organize her thoughts. But that became impossible._

_“This is more than fucking business, Camila!”_

_Teresa stepped back. She had heard James angry before, but never like that. He didn’t yell- it wasn’t his style. Yelling showed too much emotion- too much vulnerability. And that fact was what made her open the door without knocking. Something was wrong and if it was about business like Camila seemed to be saying, then Teresa wanted to know._

_She took two steps into the room and stopped. Camila stood behind her desk, hands pressed flat against the wood as she stared James down. But what caught Teresa off guard was James. His fists were clenched tight as if he were holding himself back. His breathing was harsh and Teresa could see the anger clear on his face._

_“What’s wrong?” The sound of her voice seemed to startle Camila, but Teresa knew James had been aware of her from the moment she opened the door. Camila turned to face her, but Teresa kept her eyes on James. “What happened?” She took a step back to close the door before moving into the room more fully._

_But James still wouldn’t look at her. His eyes were locked onto Camila’s every move. And Camila, Teresa could see, was trying not to let it show that she was bothered. The older woman let her usual smirk lift her lips. She straightened behind her desk as she turned back to James. “Teresa, please, sit,” she said, waving her hand towards the seat across from her. Teresa shook her head. If Camila was upset, she didn’t let it show._

_“This isn’t happening, Camila.” James’ voice was low and rougher than usual._

_Slowly Camila ran her finger along the wooden desk. Her movements were calculated and full of confidence that hadn’t been there when Teresa opened the door. “You know,” the woman started, “it doesn’t have to be you who does this. I can choose someone else. Does that sound better to you, James?” The smirk turned into a true smile then- one that Teresa didn’t like._

_James’ shoulders tensed more than they already had been. Teresa could see his left hand clenched into a tight fist, his knuckles going white as he held back his anger. Camila’s eyes came to rest casually on Teresa and this time James’ followed. She wrapped her arms around herself more tightly, suddenly feeling exposed. James shook his head slowly, anger and something else still coming off of him. “Fine,” he said, eyes locked on Teresa. “I’ll do it.” Then he stepped away from the desk to lean against the far wall like he always did when there was business to discuss._

_Teresa finally made her way to the chair Camila had offered. She sat on the edge, ready to get up and run. The feeling in her gut told her that whatever was going on between James and Camila wasn’t good for her either. But she kept her face as neutral as possible. “So, what’s happening?”_

_Teresa resisted the urge to turn around- to look at James- as Camila sat in her leather seat. It wasn’t the first time that Teresa had noticed how everything in the room was to convey who was in charge. From the expensive material, to the paintings along the wall, the books on the shelves, and the massive desk with its high-back leather chair. It was all to show that Camila was strong and wealthy and powerful. And for the first time Teresa actually found herself intimidated by it all._

_“We are going to be negotiating a deal soon. One with a very powerful family. Ignacio Sepulveda is a man who values family. And he won’t work with me since Epifanio is being so difficult.” Teresa let her confusion show on her face briefly. “He will work with a liaison of mine, provided they are happily married. And since you are my business partner, Teresa, I trust you with this responsibility.”_

_Suddenly James’ anger made sense. This wasn’t just business. “Camila, you can’t be serious…” But Teresa knew she was. She knew from the tension that had been suffocating the room since she walked in. She knew because James had yelled and he never did that. She knew because her heart was beating too fast for it to be a bad joke. “No one will believe we’re married- not without an actual marriage certificate.”_

_Her eyes went to James in panic and she wished they hadn’t. His face told her everything even before he spoke the words. “There’s gonna be a certificate. There’ll be a license and a wedding and everything will be legit. Sepulveda checks shit like that.” James hadn’t even looked up as he spoke, but Teresa could see the apology mixing with his anger. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want this for her or for himself._

_“Camila, you can’t force us to get married- not legally married. Pretending is one thing, but this...”_

_Her words trailed off as Camila rose from her seat and strode around her desk to stand in front of Teresa. “You came to me, Teresa. You asked to be my partner in this business. And I accepted you.” From the corner of her eye Teresa saw James take a half-step closer. But she was too focused on Camila and the hand that was suddenly resting against her cheek. “But make no mistake- you…and James, don’t have a choice. One word from me and Epifanio will have you back in Culiacan before the sun has set. One call and your life ends.”_

_Camila’s thumb stroked Teresa’s jaw gently, before she pulled away. She turned and moved back towards her chair, waving a dismissive hand in Teresa and James’ direction. And for once the gesture didn’t anger Teresa. Her mind could hardly process what she had just heard, or find a way out of it. So she didn’t try. Instead she rose and walked out of Camila’s office with as much confidence as she could find._

_And every day after that was a blur- for two months._

_Every day until the day she became James’ wife._

_~*~*~_

She woke up in her bed the next morning.

It took her a moment to recognize where she was. It took her a moment to remember that she was in _her_ house instead of Camila’s. Then she remembered why and what it all meant. And she didn’t want to be awake anymore. But she could hear someone downstairs, probably James. So she got up. She made her bed the way her mother had taught her- the way Guero had made fun of her for. Then she grabbed some clothes and headed into the bathroom.

She stayed in the shower longer than usual- partly because she could, but mostly because she wasn’t ready to face James. She let the hot water beat down onto her tired muscles. She watched as droplets fell from the long clumps of hair hanging in her face. She tried to push the memory of Guero helping her shower out of her mind. She tried not to think of James’ empty eyes the day before.

The water went cold. She turned the knob and stepped out on shaky legs. She gave herself one moment to wish that things were different. Then she dried off and pulled her clothes on. She left the bathroom and made her way down the stairs, following the sounds of running water and the smell of bacon.

James froze for a fraction of a second when Teresa walked into the kitchen. She pretended not to notice. “Good morning,” she said as she slid into a seat at the small kitchen table. James nodded in return- like he always did. Somehow that made her relax the smallest bit.

She watched as he moved around, scrambling eggs in one pan while bacon cooked in another. She hadn’t known that James cooked- even basics like eggs and bacon. The food had always been made by the girls who weren’t working the morning runs. And James had always eaten what they made. He put the eggs and bacon on a plate just in time for the toaster to pop, and he grabbed both slices putting one on each plate.

She noticed as he carried the plates over that there was butter and jelly on the table already, along with forks and knives. “There’s coffee in the pot if you want it.” Teresa glanced in the directed that he gestured. “There are three of those. Another toaster, too.” She looked back at James. His eyes were on his plate, but he wasn’t eating.

“I remember my friend’s wedding, everyone gave her quilts.” James’ eyes met hers for a second before going back to his plate with a nod. When he didn’t say anything else, Teresa tucked into her food. It was good- not as good as Pote’s but good. But she didn’t say anything, though. They had never needed to fill their silences before. Neither of them liked to talk much, anyway. So the clink of forks on plates was the only sound.

James finished eating before she did. Teresa watched as he cleared his plate and began washing the dishes. She offered to do it, since he had cooked, but James just shook his head. By the time they were both done, the kitchen looked as clean and unused as it had the day before. There wasn’t much to do. James had unpacked the wedding presents while she was sleeping. The house was already furnished, and they had unpacked their personal things already. And Teresa could only take so much silence- even from James. She turned to the stairs, ready to retreat back to her room.

“Teresa.” She paused, her hand hovering above the railing. “We need to talk.” She turned back to face the man she was legally bound to. He stood in the living room, his back resting against the doorframe. He looked so different from how she had seen him before. He looked tired- weighed down. She hated knowing she was part of that weight he carried.

She stepped over to him and leaned on the opposite side of the door. Their bodies mimicked each other’s posture. “Like you told Camila, we know what we have to do.” A bitter taste flooded her mouth as she spoke the other woman’s name. She ignored it. “We have to be convincing and we will be.” She forced more confidence into her voice than she actually felt, and she knew James could tell.

James ran his hand down his face with a sigh. Then he straightened his shoulders in that way that told Teresa he was about to say something she wouldn’t like. “Convincing. Holding hands, convincing? Kissing in public, convincing? Nicknames, convincing? Because, as separate as I tried to keep things, people saw me with Kim. _You_ saw me with Kim.”

Teresa’s mind went back to that day- the day he took her to Birdman’s party. He had been light and open with Kim. She hadn’t even recognized him as the person she knew. It had been a glimpse into James’ world that she hadn’t expected. And now they had to replicate that. She thought of how she had been with Guero. Always laughing, always smiling and touching and kissing. Suddenly she understood what James meant.

“We can come up with a backstory. We can get our lies straight. But after this week-” he took a deep breath. “Look, I need to know how much _convincing_ you can handle.” Teresa gave a slow nod. That was all she could do. Because, she wasn’t sure what she could handle. She trusted James. She trusted him more when she remembered how hard he had fought Camila on this.

_‘It doesn’t have to be you…’_

Her eyes narrowed on the man in front of her. “Why did you agree to do this?” She hadn’t realized that James had relaxed until the tension stiffened his muscles again. He put on a confused expression- one she didn’t buy at all. “Camila said she’d choose someone else. You didn’t have to agree. So why did you?”

James shook his head slowly, amused smirk pulling at his lips. “You don’t get it,” he said. Teresa tilted her head, a flicker of annoyance sparking at his attitude. “She wasn’t going to pick Pote or Charger.” She nodded, Teresa couldn’t see Camila choosing someone that she had a connection to. “She wasn’t gonna pick Lopez or Conner, either.” Teresa knew those names- two guys who were soft, easygoing types. They were there for the thrill and quick money.

Then what James was saying, settled. Camila would have put her with someone who would hurt her. She would pick someone like Gato as a way to punish James for disobeying. Teresa could imagine what this morning would look like- what the night before would have been. She nodded slowly, eyes taking in the way James still hadn’t lifted his head to look at her. It shouldn’t be a surprise- it wasn’t really. He had been protecting her since her first day in Dallas.

“So we make this real.” Her heart ached as an image of Guero flashed across her mind. But she couldn’t think of him. Guero was dead and she was alive. She was alive and she had to let go. She forced words past her lips. “I trust you. And I think you trust me, too. So if we kiss, we kiss. If we hold hands, we hold hands. I trust you, James.”

She didn’t love him- he didn’t love her- but there was trust.

And that meant something.


	2. II

It had been three months since she got married. Three months of shipment schedules and dealing with competition and forming alliances. Three months gathering every piece of useful information possible on the Sepulveda family. Three months of Camila watching her every move- _their_ every move.

It was exhausting. Most nights Teresa fell into bed, barely able to appreciate the fact that it _was_ a bed. And then her dreams would take her to Sinaloa, to Guero and Brenda, to the life she had lost and the pain that had become her world. And when she woke up, guilt came. Because despite her dreams there was a part of her that wasn’t missing Guero as much anymore- and it was the part of her that found it easy to hold James’ hand.

The car pulling to a stop brought Teresa out of her own head. She looked out the window to see a tall office building. The Sepulveda family would be waiting inside on the seventeenth floor. She and James would finally be meeting face to face with the man who they got married to impress. And she was ready. She and James had gone over the business proposal enough times that she could recite it in her sleep. And as she got out of the car and slipped her hand into James’, Teresa knew that this would work.

Teresa took in the details of the building as they entered. She noted the security and the number of visible exits. She knew James was doing the same. And when they reached the seventeenth floor she noted the extra security- more than necessary for any type of legal business. James tensed beside her, his grip bringing her closer to him. The men here didn’t bother to hide their guns like the guards on the other floors. They didn’t care about getting the floors messy.

They reached the door to Sepulveda’s office. Bulletproof glass let them see Sepulveda seated at a conference table. There were papers spread out in front of him, papers Teresa knew contained the proposal she and Camila had sent. James pressed a kiss to her temple and Teresa felt the corners of her lips tip upward. “You’ve got this,” he whispered. Her fingers tightened around his as a thank you. Then one of Sepulveda’s men was opening the door and ushering them inside.

After that it was all business. Numbers were discussed, distribution routes gone over. Sepulveda hadn’t gotten to his position by being stupid. His business was well organized and from the research that Teresa had done, she knew that there were a lot of dangerous rules the man expected to be followed. But she and James had planned as much as they could. They had brought counteroffers and alternate routes and schedules. And it was paying off.

Teresa could see the interest in Sepulveda’s eyes. She saw how he worked to find any discrepancies in their proposal. But there were none- at least not any that Teresa couldn’t smooth over quickly. But mostly she saw how his eyes kept straying to James’ hand on her thigh. He watched how easily they moved together- mentally and physically. It made Teresa uncomfortable because this stranger was judging her marriage. Yet, she was oddly proud that all he saw was a strong relationship.

Two hours later she and James were shaking the man’s hand and agreeing to meet the next day to finalize their new partnership. There was a hum of anticipation threading through her veins as she and James left the building. A small smile came to her face as James turned the first corner and the building was no longer in sight. For the first time in weeks she could breathe again. _We just have to get through tomorrow._

It felt a lot less impossible than yesterday.

~*~*~

The hotel was nice- fancy for such a short trip. But that was probably why Camila got it. Looks matter. Still, when James opened the door for her to go in, all Teresa cared about was the bed. The flight from Dallas hadn’t been long, but Teresa had stayed up late going over last minute details with Camila and then she and James had gone straight from the airport to Sepulveda’s office. Her body was tired even if her mind was still enjoying the success of the day.

James stepped around her and placed their bags on the loveseat. He ran a hand over his face the way he did when he was anxious before unzipping his bag to look for something. Teresa watched from her place by the door as James grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Then he unzipped her bag and rummaged around for a second before turning to toss her a pair of socks. “I’m gonna change, go take a look around. We had a tail on the way back.”

Teresa nodded, slipping her heels off with a sigh. She hadn’t noticed anyone following them. Then again, she wasn’t sure this wasn’t just an excuse for James to be alone. But she didn’t question him. That wasn’t how they worked. The bathroom door closed as Teresa settled onto the edge of the king size bed. She tugged on the soft socks James had given her and tried not to think about how he always did things like that. He’d give her a sweater if she’d been around sleazy men for too long, or a book after spending a day with Camila’s mules. But somehow he knew, and somehow he gave her what she needed.

Something heavy, something she refused to name, washed over her as she watched James walk out of the bathroom and head for the door. She wanted to thank him. She wanted to tell him that she was trying. She wanted to break through that hard exterior he kept up when they were alone. But she couldn’t. Because she still dreamt of Guero some nights. And the guilt she felt for not missing him as much made her chest tight.

“There’s a Glock in my bag. Fire three shots if you get into trouble.”

James glanced over his shoulder in time to catch her nod. Then he pulled the door open and left. Teresa stared at the closed door for a long time before finally getting up. She grabbed some clothes and undressed. She didn’t bother going to the bathroom- James wouldn’t come back until late. She slid on the fresh clothes and got into bed.

-

It was almost ten when James finally came back to the room. Teresa had ordered dinner hours ago, but she had saved his plate. If he noticed, she couldn’t tell. He stepped into the dimly lit room and Teresa watched as he went to his bag. Toeing off his shoes, he pulled out another shirt, making as little noise as possible. Then he pulled his shirt off and stuffed it in his bag before stripping off his pants. He turned to face the bed and then stopped. “Thought you were asleep.”

Teresa watched his thumb rub against his fingers for a moment. “No. What happened?” James just shook his head with a sigh before moving towards the closet. Teresa saw him pick of a spare pillow and grab a blanket. Her brows furrowed lightly as he moved back to the loveseat. “What are you doing?” Her voice shook, but they both pretended not to hear.

Moving their bags to the floor, James pulled the cushions off of the loveseat to show a pull out bed. Something shifted in Teresa’s chest when she realized what was happening. A different kind of guilt flared when she saw him toss the pillow and blanket onto the newly formed bed. They never slept in the same bed at the house- it had always been that way. The door between their rooms stayed closed each night. And it was her fault, Teresa knew that.

She wasn’t stupid. She saw the way James looked at her- the way he tried _not_ to look at her. She knew that every little thing he did was to make her feel safe and comfortable. And she knew that every kiss and touch and hug he gave her in public was paid for in closed doors and silence at home. Because she still slept on the left side of the bed as if Guero would be taking his spot on the right.

“You don’t have to sleep there, James.”

He was quiet for so long that Teresa wondered if he had heard her. Her voice had been barely more than a whisper anyway. But after a long while he turned to glance at her over his shoulder. His face held the same carefully neutral expression it always did when someone said something stupid. But it had never been directed at her before. He turned back around and got into his bed. “There’s no one to convince here, Teresa. Get some sleep, Sepulveda’s gonna call to meet early.” Then he rolled onto his side- away from her. Teresa turned off the light and rolled onto her back.

It took a long time for her to fall asleep.

James was still awake when she did.

~*~*~

James was right- Sepulveda did call early the next morning.

The two walked into his office at seven-thirty the next morning. His men met them at the door, guns on display. But Teresa wasn’t nervous. They had agreed to the deal the previous day. This was just formality- signing the official papers. So when she and James walking into the man’s office Teresa wasn’t expecting a gun to the face.

Her mind whirred as she tried to understand what was happening. James was suddenly in front of her, the barrel of the gun an inch from grazing his forehead. “I came to this meeting in good faith,” Sepulveda said. James pulled Teresa closer to him. “I listened to your proposal and I liked it- I liked the two of you. But then I learn that I’ve been lied to.” Teresa’s lungs seized in her chest. She tried to think of every word that she and James had said, anything that might be misconstrued. But there was nothing.

Sepulveda stepped closer to them- his eyes landing on hers. “Oh, no, not about the deal.” James shifted so that Teresa wasn’t in Sepulveda’s line of sight. The other man laughed lightly. “You can cut the bullshit. You two aren’t together.” Teresa opened her mouth to deny it but he cut her off. “You got a license, and you had a wedding, and you live together... But you aren’t married. And I don’t do business with liars.”

That was all it took for James to take action. Teresa watched as he grabbed the gun from the guard’s hand. He pushed Teresa towards the door, and then he turned to face Sepulveda. But it didn’t matter. Sepulveda’s men had already closed in. The door was blocked and rough hands had grabbed onto Teresa before she could even get to the door. She tried to fight back, she tried to get to James, but she couldn’t.

Sepulveda’s men closed in on James. Two forced him to the ground, tying his hands behind him. The sound of fist hitting flesh filled the room as Sepulveda punched James across the face. Teresa fought harder to get free- to get to James. But then an arm was around her neck and air was suddenly harder to get into her lungs. Her legs kicked out as Sepulveda hit James again and again. Her nails clawed at the arm around her neck and she watched blood spot the floor at James’ feet.

“Stop it…please,” she rasped, words barely audible from the tight grip on her throat. James didn’t look fazed, he didn’t look like he felt any of the blows, but she knew he was hurt. His eyes found hers and they told her to shut up, they told her not to bring attention to herself. But she couldn’t just watch them beat him. She couldn’t watch him bleed. “Please, you don’t have to do this.” But her words only made Sepulveda’s fist move faster, hit harder.

Black spots filled the edges of her vision as lack of oxygen set in. Sound became dull, drowned out by a sharp ringing in her ears. She watched James’ face change. His eyes seemed to widen. And as the room began to blink in and out Teresa was sure she saw him struggling to get free. She heard her name- it was coming from far away, but she heard it. Her eyes blinked open- she hadn’t realized she’d closed them. James was on the ground, another guard pressing his face into the floor. The black was growing bigger, lasting longer. She thought maybe James was calling her name, but it was so far away.

Then there was nothing.

~*~*~

She heard voices. Through the darkness, through the cold, she could make them out. Strangers talked over her. She didn’t know what they said- she couldn’t understand it. But she heard the voices. Then there was James. She recognized him- recognized the way his words were cold but his voice was warm. There were bits and pieces with him- fragments of sentences. It made her want to go to him- she needed to get to him. But she couldn’t- the darkness was too heavy.

-

She didn’t know how long the darkness lasted. She just knew when it stopped. The beeping reached her first- there were no voices. She listened as the sound came to her, sunk into the darkness to pull her out. It was steady, like nothing could disrupt it. Her first thought was that it reminded her of James. Her second was that, that didn’t make any sense. Still, she settled into the comfort the feeling left her with.

Somewhere in the eternity between one beep and another, her eyes opened. The sun was in her eyes, a golden glare that left everything hidden for a moment. She blinked- blinked again. The beeping was still there, slightly different, faster maybe. But now she could see the heart monitor that the sound was coming from.

Her eyes trailed to the right- landed on the chair pulled next to her bed. She took in the dark curls that fell across a slightly furrowed brow. She saw the cuts and bruises from Sepulveda’s hits. Her eyes found the sharp line around a wrist, from being tied up. Then a hand holding hers- platinum wedding band glinting in the bright sunlight.

Teresa wasn’t used to seeing James this way- sleeping. He was always alert, always hard and distant. But that wasn’t what she was seeing. Instead there was simply a man. James looked soft in his sleep. Yet somehow the safety she always associated with him was still just as strong. Her fingers tightened around his- almost a reflex. Her free hand came to rest on his head, running her fingers through curls she’d never let herself touch unobserved before.

That was all it took for him to wake up. He didn’t move, didn’t even twitch his fingers, but she knew. The air changed, or gravity shifted- something. Then she blinked and his eyes were on her. She watched him take her in, watched him catalogue every detail he could. Then he sat up, leaning back in his chair. He didn’t let go of her hand, though.

“Are you okay?” Her voice was raspy, more gone than there. Her throat _hurt_ , and she knew there would be bruises for a while. But Teresa didn’t care. Her eyes locked on everything she hadn’t been able to see before. The bandage on his left arm, the bloodshot eyes, the shallow breaths- she saw it all. She hated it all. She hated that he was hurt.

But James just nodded. He ran his free hand down his face with a sniff before standing up. It was too quick- pain flashed across his face before disappearing. But Teresa saw it. She kept quiet. Moving to the monitor, James pressed a button. The beeping stopped. Somehow it made the room seem louder- less safe. So when James moved to pull his hand free, Teresa held tighter. His eyes dropped to their hands, but he didn’t fight her. Just took a deep breath and sat back down.

“How bad does it hurt,” he said, eyes lingering on her throat. She shook her head, but even as she did she couldn’t hide a wince. James pressed a button on the side of the bed. Then a voice came over the speakers behind the bed, asking what was wrong. “My wife is awake. She’s in pain.” Some response came back and then the voice was gone.

Her mind kept going back to the way he had called her his wife. He’d done it before, but it had never sounded like that. It had never been so soft. Maybe because they had only used the word ‘husband’ or ‘wife’ during introductions- when business meant not letting weaknesses show. Even if that weakness is your spouse. Maybe it was because he was too tired and hurt to hide the feelings he always tried to ignore. Maybe…She shook her head slightly- pushed the thoughts away.

Someone knocked at the door. James’ hand reached for a gun that wasn’t there. Teresa watched as he stood up, hand slipping from her grasp. She watched him move to stand between her and the door. His fists clenched and his body tensed for a fight. Teresa’s muscles did the same; her hand pushed the covers off to free her legs.

Then the door opened and the world stopped.

“Guero?”


	3. III

Guero was alive. Guero was in Dallas. Teresa couldn’t believe it. It had been a week since he had walked into her hospital room and she still couldn’t believe that he was there. She kept waiting to wake up and him be gone. She was still waiting for it all to disappear. But it wasn’t. Every morning when she woke up there was a text from him waiting for her. Every day he would walk into Camila’s safe house and take the seat next to her- the seat that James no longer used.

He was angry at her- Guero. She could see it every time she looked at him. He was angry that she had ‘moved on’, angry that she had married James. And she wanted to explain that it wasn’t real. She wanted to tell him that Camila had forced her to do it- forced both of them. But…she couldn’t. There had been something between Teresa and James from the beginning. Underneath her distrust and her grief, she had seen a man that was good. She had found a safe place in a world where safety was an illusion.

But she couldn’t explain that to Guero. She couldn’t explain that three months of living with someone and pretending to be in love made you see things about them. So she just kept quiet. When he rolled his eyes every time James spoke, she kept quiet. When he held her hand in front of Pote or Camila she didn’t say anything. She kept everything down until she wasn’t sure she could keep anything down anymore.

It was suffocating- the weight of his jealousy. It was something Teresa had never had to deal with before. There had never been any doubt about who her heart belonged to- who she belonged to. But now she was married to another man. Now she shared a home with another man. Now she was unreachable even though inches were the only thing separating them.

Her mind let go of thoughts of Guero as James walked in the front door. She had left Camila’s before him, something had happened between Pote and Guero and the tension was too much for her to handle. But she hadn’t expected James to be back to soon. He had stayed out late every night since she got out of the hospital. And he left early every morning.

She pretended not to notice.

“Hey.” She hated that she sounded so nervous. She had never been nervous around James- not since her first day. But she was now and he could tell. His eyes trailed over her the way they always did- checking for injuries. Then he nodded and turned toward the stairs. “James? Can we talk?”

His silence wasn’t new, but it was different. Before Guero was a ghost haunting her, making her push James and whatever she could have felt for him away. Now Guero was alive and there and James barely looked at her. He spoke to her about business. Before he had at least asked how her day went, or if she wanted take out for dinner.

Pausing at the bottom step, James turned to face her. Teresa saw the neutral expression he wore. No different from any other day- except for his eyes. Something in his eyes told her he was bracing for something, waiting for a hit. That same something told her it wasn’t a physical hit he was waiting for. James took a deep breath. “What’s wrong?”

She almost flinched at the flat tone. She didn’t. She took a breath of her own. Then, “I’m worried about you.” James tilted his head and let his eyes drop. A flash of exasperation or annoyance crossed his face before he looked at her again. But she didn’t let him say anything. “You’re not sleeping enough. I can see it. And you won’t look at me, or talk to me.”

“Silence has never been a problem between us before.”

She did flinch then. “I know Guero being back is…complicated.” James’ eyes met hers and she _saw_ the emotion leech out of them. Emotion she didn’t realize was there until it wasn’t anymore. She took a step towards him. “Things are off between us. We can’t afford that, James. What we do- I need to be able to count on you. And I need you to be able to count on me.”

His nose scrunched with a sniff, but he nodded sharply. “You can count on me. I’m not gonna let anything happen to us.” Teresa felt her nails dig into the flesh of her palm at James’ words. The guilt she had felt while Guero was ‘dead’ came back, but now it was reversed. Because she knew James wasn’t doing anything different from what he had always done. He was giving her space, following her lead, trying to make her feel safe and comfortable. “Look, we know what this is. Nothing’s changed. Just… Be careful, Teresa.”

He didn’t wait for her to say anything. There was nothing she could say anyway. He was right. She did know what this was. And she knew why it was and what it could have been if she had made different choices. Teresa watched from her place as he climbed the stairs. The click of his door closing felt louder than it had before. It felt like she was losing something.

She didn’t let herself think about what that something might be.

~*~*~

Teresa watched Camila. She watched her use Guero as leverage against James. Giving Guero jobs that only James should have. Questioning James and praising Guero. Teresa watched Guero smirk each time Camila put James down. And it made her chest tight with anger. Then she would watch as Camila fed James’ distrust- reminding him that Guero was a rat. She listened as Camila spoke about the wedding and how beautiful Teresa had looked in her dress. She saw the way James wouldn’t look at her and Guero did nothing but.

She hated it. She hated that Camila was using her against them. She hated that Camila was pushing James for a reaction and feeding every bit of jealousy that Guero had. Because it just made things harder- for all of them. James didn’t come home anymore. Pote and Charger had no clue where he was most nights. Guero never left Teresa’s side unless he was doing business for Camila- dangerous business, the kind that got you killed.

And Teresa… she couldn’t breathe. Each time Guero walked out the door of the safe house, she panicked. Each time he was late from a delivery she heard Loya’s voice telling her Guero was dead. Every time James came into a room she saw the exhaustion weighing him down. Every time he left she wanted to follow- to ask where he slept and if he was eating. But she couldn’t because that wasn’t her job. It was laughable, really. They were married, she was his wife, and yet she was the one person who _couldn’t_ ask him personal questions.

She sat on the sofa in Camila’s house. Her tablet was in front of her, the numbers for the latest shipment waiting for her to go over them. The side door opened and Guero walked in. She felt the same burst of relief she always felt when he came back from a run. Her lips tipped up into a smile to mirror the one on his face as he walked over to her. “Hey, babe,” he said as he sunk into the seat next to her.

Teresa turned back to her tablet. They weren’t together- not technically- but Guero had fallen back into old habits. She ignored the part of her that said it was his way of claiming her as his. “How did it go?” Camila had sent him with Pote to deliver a shipment to their distributors. Camila had wanted to send him with James, but he hadn’t shown up to Camila’s yet. He still hadn’t shown up even though the day was almost over.

“Aw, you know. Pote played mariachi the whole trip and glared every time I tried to say anything.” He rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his face. Somehow annoying Pote made him happy. But the smile faded as the door opened again. “Well look who decided to show up.” Teresa turned and saw James heading towards them. “Finally decided to do your job, Cabrón?”

Teresa took in the stiff set of James’ shoulders and the dark circles under his eyes. “Guero, stop.” She felt his eyes boring into her, but Teresa didn’t look at him. She kept her eyes on James. He stopped beside the sofa, head bent so he could see the numbers on her tablet. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t even glance at her. His eyes stayed locked on the tablet as he gave a sharp nod. Teresa wasn’t sure if it was to her question or about what he saw on the screen. The quiet lasted for another moment before he straightened up and moved towards the hallway. “Lopez doesn’t get a shipment this week. It’s going to Johnson instead. Have Charger meet me at the warehouse for delivery.”

“Me and Pote already did delivery, Cabrón. You’d know that if you had bothered to do your job.”

James paused, but didn’t turn around. “I know what deliveries you made. Teresa, tell Charger to meet me for delivery.” Then he was gone, footsteps fading as he moved deeper into the house. Teresa picked up her phone and called Charger. She felt Guero watching her again as she told the other man what James had said. Guero let out a huff as she hung up the phone. 

“Why are you listening to him? He didn’t even show up today.” Guero ran his hand through his hair in frustration. But Teresa didn’t say anything. Because no matter what Guero thought, she knew that James had gotten his orders straight from Camila. And whatever he had been doing all day was probably more important than deliveries. Guero just couldn’t see past his own pride and jealousy.

Teresa picked up her tablet and stood up. “Look, just leave him alone, okay. He’s not used to having to explain himself. He doesn’t like to compete.” The look on Guero’s face told her that was the wrong thing to say. She hadn’t meant it personally, she was talking about business. But she didn’t correct herself- she didn’t take it back.

She just turned and walked away.

~*~*~

Teresa had stopped sleeping the second week that James didn’t come home. Her mind wouldn’t let her. Her body couldn’t fall into the rest that it needed. She kept thinking about the way things were before. Before the hospital, before the wedding- just, before. She thought of the way James had always been there. Even when she didn’t want him around, he was there. He kept her safe. He taught her things that no one else bothered to teach her. And she trusted him.

That was the problem.

Teresa trusted him. He was loyal. He was smart. She had seen how far he was willing to go to keep her safe. She had seen how hard he fought to keep Camila’s girls alive. She had seen him with Kim- soft and caring and warm. And somewhere in the midst of the chaos of finding her place in this world, Teresa had learned to trust James, she had learned to care for him.

But she had never stopped loving Guero.

Every day in her cage she had wished to be back with him. Even when she felt something for James creeping into her veins, she still wanted Guero. That hadn’t changed in the eight months that she thought he was dead. But now he wasn’t dead. Now she knew the truth. He had left her to pick up the pieces of the mess he’d made. Now she knew that he had turned to the Feds to save his own life. And she should be angry at him- she was. She should be disgusted by him and his betrayal- and she was. But more than any of that, Teresa still loved him.

_Or maybe you just love who you thought he was. Maybe you love the life you had with him in Sinaloa._

That thought kept popping up. It haunted her at night when the house was too quiet and she felt the lack of James’ presence in the room connected to hers. But it was easier to push away than the thoughts that she had about James. Those brought emotions that were too complicated to process. It brought emotions she felt guilty about needing to process.

_It’s not a real marriage. It was for business. You don’t love him and he doesn’t love you. There’s nothing to feel guilty for._

But that wasn’t completely true. Because she knew James had feelings for her- feelings he wasn’t acting on for her sake. And she knew that if she had tried- if she had let herself go there- this could have been a real marriage. She knew that business wasn’t the reason he agreed to marry her and she knew that business wasn’t an excuse for why she hadn’t filed for divorce after Sepulveda found out the truth. But mostly she knew that the reason she felt guilty was because she had told James the morning after their wedding that they would make it real- she said it and she meant it.

And then she pushed him away.

~*~*~

_Teresa glanced over her shoulder as she ran, trying to see how close behind her Guero was. She could hear Brenda laughing at her from down the hall, and little Tony asking why Tia Teresa was running. A wide smile filled her face as she imagined her godson’s confused face. But the sound of heavy footsteps made it drop a little._

_She turned around again and crashed into a familiar chest. Guero’s arms wrapped around her tightly as she screamed in surprise. “Ready to take that back, Babe?” The smirk on his face was ridiculously smug, but Teresa felt her smile widen at the sight of it._

_“No. I’m right.”_

_Her arms came up to drape over Guero’s shoulders and she brought her nose up to brush against his. She could just make out Brenda explaining that she and Guero were crazy, and she could see Chino standing by the refrigerator laughing quietly. Her eyes went back to Guero. The smugness was gone, but the soft look she loved so much had taken its place. “You’re damn lucky I love you, woman.” She pressed a quick kiss to his pouting lips. “Yeah, yeah. It’s gonna take more than that for me to forget you’d trade me for chocolate.”_

_Teresa smiled wide and happy, “Only Belgian chocolate.”_

_-_

_Teresa tried to fight back her smile. Guero had gotten back from a run early. He had just shown up at the house, smiling and tugged her outside and into the car. He hadn’t let her ask any questions- well he had, but he hadn’t answered any of them. And now they were in some mystery location with his hands covering her eyes and she tried not to trip while walking blind._

_“You know I don’t like surprises.”_

_Guero laughed behind her. “No, I know you do like surprises.” He said as he steered her around something she couldn’t see. “You just act like you don’t because you hate not knowing everything.” Teresa opened her mouth to argue, but there was nothing to say. She could practically see the smug smile of Guero’s face. “Yeah, I thought so, too.”_

_Her hand came up to slap lightly at his arm. “You don’t have to rub it in.” Guero just dropped a quick kiss to the back of her head. As she was about to ask how much longer she had to wait for this surprise, Guero’s hands fell away from her eyes. She blinked a few times to let her eyes adjust to the bright sunlight. Then all she could do was stare._

_“Bought it a few weeks ago. Saw you looking at houses and I figured this one would be good for us.” Teresa couldn’t look away from the house in front of her. A soft, bright blue with pale yellow trim. A small garden that she would never use, but would love to look at. It looked so cozy and sweet. “I mean, it’s a little small, but that’s kinda why I thought you’d like it. Simple, ya know, but still nice.” A part of her recognized that he was rambling, but it took her a moment for it to sink in because…_

_“I never thought I’d have this. I never- I never thought someone would do this for me.”_

_Guero’s arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her against his chest._

_“Well, you’ve got me now. I’ll always do this for you.”_


	4. IV

_Teresa lifted her hand until her wedding band glinted in a beam of moonlight. Something had changed. Something had shifted between her and James and she could feel it. After she told him they would make it real, after she realized just how much worse this all could be- But she hadn’t expected to feel the way she did when he kissed her._

_It was for show- their first business meeting since the wedding. Someone who had been at the wedding cried out for them to kiss and Camila hadn’t given them an out. But Teresa thought she had been prepared. It wasn’t much, a few seconds longer than the kiss on their wedding day- their first kiss._

_But it felt like more. The way James had pulled her close, the weight of his hand on her cheek. He wasn’t distant or putting on an act this time and she could feel it. This was what it felt like to be kissed by James when he meant it. Soft, easy, but full of a slow kind of heat. It had made her fingers tremble just a little._

_And that was the problem._

_She hadn’t expected to feel so much from one kiss. She hadn’t expected to want more. Not so soon. She wasn’t ready for more. So she had kept her distance for the rest of the night. And she knew James had noticed- he noticed everything. But he hadn’t said anything. And she hadn’t said anything either._

_She looked at her ring again. She had always wanted this with Guero- only Guero. Even with other boyfriends she hadn’t seen anything so permanent. And now…Guero was dead. She was married to a man she wasn’t in love with- who wasn’t in love with her. But she felt bits of what she had felt with Guero._

_The longer she stared at the ring, the more she could see her life with James. She could see herself falling in love with him. She already felt more than she should for a business partner. She knew James had the same type of feelings even if he wasn’t saying it. So seeing their life together- it was a good one. It was a life she didn’t think she could ever begin to want with someone other than Guero._

_And she was terrified._

_-_

_“You need papers? ‘Cause I’m single.”_

_Teresa laughed at Carl’s words. From the corner of her eye she saw James roll his eyes before glancing at her. “Sorry, Carl,” she said lifting her left hand and showing her wedding ring. “I’m not.” Teresa didn’t miss the way that James tensed for a moment. Or how Carl’s eyes immediately went to James. They weren’t in love, they weren’t even together in any meaningful way other than legally. But Carl hadn’t even asked if James was the spouse in question- he’d just…assumed._

_She thought of the scene she had walked in to in Pete’s tent. James was tied to that chair and he was bleeding. She had heard what Pete had said before she went in. She had seen the way James protected her in the desert. Maybe their connection was less vague than she kept trying to make it be._

_Sometime during her spiraling thoughts Carl and Pete had left and James had moved closer to her. She forced herself not to react to his sudden closeness. But for once James wasn’t paying attention to her reactions. “You should stay back for this,” James whispered, even though they were alone. She opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off before she could. “Look, if this goes south, you need to be able to get out of here quick. Get help.”_

_“And just leave you behind?” She hated that idea. She always hated the idea of leaving James in dangerous situations. Even when they were barely more than two strangers. Even when he still locked her in a wire cage at night. She shook her head sharply, ignoring the slight dizziness she felt. “I’m not going to leave you here if something goes wrong. You’re my hus- I’m not leaving you.”_

_James’ eyes finally met hers. He stared at her intently but said nothing. She wondered what he saw in her eyes. She hated that she wondered. But whatever it was, it made him shut down. The mildly concerned expression that had been underneath the intense focus was gone. He reached behind him and pulled his extra gun from his waistband. Teresa was surprised that Carl had given him back his guns, but she didn’t say anything. James held the weapon out to her. “Win or lose, live or die. I don’t care what happens- if the choice comes, you live.”_

_Then he pressed the gun into her hand and moved away._

_~*~*~_

Something was wrong. Teresa could feel a strange kind of tension as soon as she stepped out of the hotel elevator. The trip to Chicago had been bad on so many levels, but Devon Finch was at least willing to speak with Camila. But that fact was the least of Teresa’s worries as she Pote and Guero walked into the parking desk.

The entire place felt empty. But James had left not five minutes before them to bring their bags to the van. Teresa’s steps quickened so she could get to the van faster. She saw Guero try to catch her hand, but she didn’t have time for his jealousy. Something was _wrong._ James was quiet, but every sound in this deck echoed. She should be able to hear _something._

Finally the van came into view and she froze. The key was in the rear door. James was nowhere in sight. And his aviator sunglasses were crushed on the ground. Her heart stopped. Her mind circled with all the things that could have gone wrong- all the ways he could be hurt or dying. And it took her right back to Sinaloa- running down the stairs in a towel, praying that it wasn’t _that_ phone ringing. Only this was so much worse.

Guero stood in front of her, not understanding what she was seeing. Not understanding how bad it was. He was too focused on her. Pote was quicker. Teresa caught the concern on his face before a voice caught her attention. Stepping around Guero she moved towards the running footsteps. She saw the DEA agent- Loya- stepping into the elevator.

Her feet were moving before her head had caught up. Pote and Guero both called out for her, but she didn’t stop. All she could see was James in handcuffs, James in court, James behind bars- away from her. She nearly tripped when she reached the elevator from stopping so quickly. But she was the floor number that Loya got off on. She hoped it was the floor- she hoped no one else had gotten on at another floor.

But it was the best she had. Bursting into the stairwell, Teresa ran up the steps. Her eyes quickly scanned each door to make sure Loya hadn’t gotten off on another floor. But everything was neat and quiet. Finally she reached the ninth floor. She peeked through the window in the door and saw open walls and exposed electrical wiring. Her mind told her all the reasons why this would be bad for James and no amount of pushing the thoughts away seemed to help calm her fears.

Guero and Pote met her a moment later. She could hear Pote’s heavy breathing and she almost felt bad for making the man run up all of those stairs. But the feeling disappeared when she hear Loya yelling at someone to stop, just before the dim lights through the window flickered. She slowly turned the door handle and cracked the door open slightly. “Cortez, you are in the US and _this_ is _not_ how we do things!”

Teresa felt herself being pulled back and turned to fight whichever of her companions it was. But then Guero was slipping out the door and into the empty hallway. She watched him peek around a corner before shaking his head and coming back to the stairs. “I’m gonna need some help,” he whispered. Teresa turned in time to catch Pote’s nod, before looked at Guero again. “Cortez has him tied to a beam, he’s pretty messed up. Looks like he shocked him a few times.” Teresa closed her eyes- she couldn’t think about that right then. Guero gave her a strange look, but kept going. “It’s only Cortez and Loya. If we can take out Cortez, Loya will be easy. Pote you get behind Cortez, I’ll deal with Loya.”

Pote put a hand on her shoulder. “Teresita, you untie James and get the coke once it’s all clear.” She nodded, then stepped back so the two men could pass her. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She could hear Cortez and Loya talking, but it was like there was static somewhere, making the words unrecognizable. Her eyes were trained on the sheet of plastic that hid James from view.

Guero and Pote disappeared and she had to force herself to breathe as she waited for one of them to signal for her. A gunshot went off and she jerked forward, trying to see. Then Pote was calling out for her and the next second her knees were hitting the concrete floor behind James. Her fingers fought with the cord holding his arms in place. It finally came loose and she pulled it off of James, rushing around to get in front of him.

There was blood trickling from his forehead, and she could see a spilt lip, too. There were burn holes in his shirt but she couldn’t tell how bad the damage to his skin was. His eyes were out of focus and his breathing was too fast, too shallow. “James?” He blinked slowly, but didn’t look at her. Panic started to lap at her ankles, crawling higher with each second that he didn’t respond to her. What if Cortez had done permanent damage? “James, look at me?” But he didn’t. He just kept breathing too fast.

Then Pote and Guero were there, pushing her out of the way and pulling James to his feet. The rough movement seemed to knock him out of whatever daze he had been in and he stumbled towards the door. Teresa glanced around the space once. Cortez and Loya were both bleeding and unconscious and she was glad.

She hurried to follow after the three men she had come with. Her eyes never left James the entire trip back to the van. When Pote told her to take the drugs, she fought him. When Guero told her that he and Pote would take care of James, she fought him. They didn’t understand. She had almost _lost_ him. Cortez could have _killed_ her husband.

“I’m not leaving him. I’m his wife, I’m not leaving him.”

She didn’t care about the surprised look on Pote’s face. She didn’t care about the hurt one on Guero’s. All she cared about was James and making sure he was safe and that he would be okay. They had been through too much together. He had done too much for her. She wasn’t going to just pass him off when he was hurt for a business deal. Their marriage- complicated as it was- meant more to her than that. _James_ meant more than that to her.

Somehow, in the last twelve hours- in the last twelve minutes- he had become _everything_ to her.

~*~*~

The private doctor Camila had hired ordered James to stay in bed for two days and go slow for the next week. Teresa had almost laughed at the annoyed look on James’ face when she told him the news. But then she remembered the night they had gotten him back from Cortez and the laughter died in her throat. The doctor had been careful with his questions- he knew how things in this business worked. But Teresa could see the fear and disgust in the man’s eyes as he had examined the electrical burns on James chest and stomach. Cortez had been brutal.

But the week was almost over and Teresa had spent most of it sitting with James. It wasn’t something they did. And she wasn’t sure if it was something he was comfortable with. But he didn’t tell her to leave, so she stayed. It had been silent for the first few days. James never talked much and Teresa didn’t know what to say after everything that had happened since their wedding.

Mostly, though, she didn’t know how to handle her emotions. Something had changed for her when she saw what Cortez had done to James. It was as if all the feelings she had been hiding from and pushing away had broken through her walls. There was no ignoring them anymore. Somewhere between racing to the airport her first day in Dallas and having him hold her in a dark parking lot while she cried for her best friend, Teresa had fallen in love with James.

Through missing Guero and learning the business, she had seen the good in James- even when she didn’t want to. Then Guero was back and she thought all the love for him had come back, too. But sitting in silence with James she realized that it hadn’t- not all of it. And she realized that even though Guero was alive, even if she wasn’t married, Teresa couldn’t see herself with him. She realized that she missed the life they had had together- before the pain and the loss has forced her to become someone she didn’t recognize. She missed the past more than she missed the man she had lived it with.

Because now when she saw the future, she saw James- and she wasn’t quite sure when that happened.

~*~*~

Teresa sat on the patio at Camila’s house. James had come over to talk business and Teresa had ridden with him. She was trying not to be overprotective, but it hadn’t been a full week since Cortez- she didn’t want James to push himself too hard. But she hadn’t told him that even if she was sure he knew it. Instead she had used Pote as an excuse to come over to Camila’s with him.

Her visit had been short. Pote was busy and Teresa hadn’t had anything to say to him anyway, so she decided to enjoy the sunset. It wasn’t something she could do often, but she had loved it at her house in Sinaloa. Her mind went to the last time she had been outside like this. Guero had just reentered her life and she was trying to understand what that meant for her.

The door opened and Teresa turned, expecting to find James ready to go. But Guero was the one standing there. She sat up straight. Something was wrong and she knew it wasn’t about drugs or guns or anything else business related. “Guero?” she started, when he didn’t move or say anything. His eyes met hers for a moment before looking up at the changing colors of the sky.

“I’m leaving, Teresa.” Her brows furrowed at the use of her name. The entire time he’s been back, Guero has only called her by her name a few times. It was his way of reminding her of what they meant to each other, his way of taking her from James in any way he could. It bothered her, but she hadn’t told him to stop. Then she caught on to what he was actually saying.

“What? Is Camila sending you on another job?”

He shook his head. “Nah. I came back for you. And for a second I thought I might get you back- that your whole marriage game would end soon.” She didn’t flinch at that, but she wanted to. “You wouldn’t leave his side. I’ve been in worse scrapes than that and you still went to see Brenda.” She did flinch then. Guero took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair like he did when he was frustrated.

“Guero…”

But he kept going. “You said the marriage was for Camila, but I think I always knew it wasn’t just that. I saw the way you looked at him sometimes. Then he got hurt and you wouldn’t leave his side. And I tried to tell myself it was just you being you- big heart, ya know? But then you said you were his wife and that’s when I _knew_. It’s not business- not for either of you. You’re not the girl I left in bed that morning. I don’t know you anymore.”

Teresa pressed her lips together tightly, and blinked back the sting of tears in her eyes. She didn’t know what to say. A part of her wished she could be that girl. Just a girl watching telenovelas in her giant bathroom. A girl going on shopping sprees and gossiping with Brenda. But that girl was gone and Teresa didn’t want to be her anymore. She was stronger than that girl- smarter than that girl. But that didn’t make seeing Guero hurting any easier. “I’m sorry, Guero.”

“Don’t be. Not your fault.” He held out a hand and Teresa took it and stood up. Guero pulled her into his arms and it still felt natural- it still felt right. A part of her thought it always would. Because there would always be a piece of that girl who fell in love with him and there would always be a piece of that man who fell in love with her and those pieces would always fit each other. Her arms wrapped around his and her face pressed to his chest. “You call me, if you need me, alright?” She nodded against the fabric of his shirt. She felt a kiss pressed to her hair just as a tear slipped free. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Then he pulled away. He wiped the tear that wound down her cheek and pressed another kiss to her forehead. Her hands let go of his shirt to cup his cheeks. She wanted to remember him. She wanted to hold on a little longer. She didn’t want him to leave. She had missed him enough- she wasn’t ready to miss him again. But she couldn’t ask him to stay. And she knew this was for the best- Camila wouldn’t let him stay in her business forever anyway.

Her hands dropped to her sides and she took a step back. Guero turned and went back to the door. He paused for a moment, looking at something or someone through the glass. Then he glanced at her one more time before going inside. Teresa sat back down. She let her eyes close. Then she took a breath. Then another one. Then another until her heart didn’t feel so broken and her stomach wasn’t in knots anymore. Then she opened her eyes.

James stood in front of her. She hadn’t heard him come out- but that didn’t surprise her. She watched him take in her red eyes and the sadness she wasn’t trying to hide. His eyes went to the window and she knew he was looking at Guero. But he didn’t say anything when he looked back at her. Instead he held his hand out to help her up. If he saw her hesitate, he didn’t show it. He dropped her hand and nodded his head towards the driveway before turning away.

“James?” Teresa reached out and took his hand. She followed the direction of his eyes and looked at their joined hands. Her hand seemed tiny compared to his- she’d never thought of that before. Teresa pulled her gaze from their hands. James’ eyes were already on hers when she looked back up at him. “Maybe we can do something tonight? The two of us?” She saw the question he wasn’t asking when he glanced at the window again. “I’m tired of pretending this is just business.”

James dropped his head and scrubbed a hand down his face. He stood silently for a long moment. Teresa clenched her free hand behind her back as she tried not to say anything. She couldn’t push him. After the way she had acted- after how he had given her space and time- she couldn’t rush him. _And if he says ‘No’._ She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and blinked away the sting in her eyes as James turned and started walking towards the car in silence. She followed behind him, their hands still locked together.

“Do you like Steak ‘N’ Shake?”

She didn’t, but she nodded anyway.


	5. V

It wasn’t like with Guero. There was too much distance that Teresa and James had to cross. There were too many half-truths and silent dinners between them. It was hard- getting James to open up to her, reminding herself to let him in. It was hard and slow and painful sometimes. But it was also easy. Under the silence and the distance and the fear, there was trust and respect and care.

Teresa had been surprised when James kissed her for the first time without an audience. It was early, he was making breakfast and she had just come downstairs. She had watched as he looked at her, like he was making up his mind about something. Then James had moved to the end of the counter where she was standing and pressed a small kiss to her cheek with a, ‘Good morning’. She had pretended she was less shocked than she was, and had somehow returned his greeting without stammering.

That had been a good day. But there were bad days, too. And the closer they became the more bad days they seemed to have- because of Camila. She had been the one to force them to get married. She had been the one to put them together from day one. She had used James’ feelings to manipulate things when Guero came back. But now the woman did everything she could to pull Teresa and James apart.

Teresa could feel Camila watching them as James placed his hand on her arm. It was nothing- he had done it almost from the beginning- but now Teresa could see the anger flaring in Camila’s eyes. She kept putting the two of them in positions where they had to choose between each other and Camila. And each time it was harder and harder to find a middle ground.

Teresa turned into James’ body. James tilted his head slightly, his dark eyes taking in her expression. The hand on her arm tightened slightly- a silent question. But Teresa shook her head. She didn’t want to talk inside Camila’s house- she knew how well her cameras and microphones worked. “Let’s go home.”

James’ eyes narrowed for a moment, before he nodded. His hand slid down her arm and wrapped around hers. But before they could get to the door Camila stopped them. “Teresa, I need you to stay for a while longer.” James furrowed his brows, but didn’t say anything. Teresa knew he was letting her decide- knew that they would keep walking if she wanted to. But Teresa knew that Camila was planning something and she wanted to know what.

Her hand slipped from James’. He looked at Camila for a long moment then let his eyes fall to Teresa again. He let his hand rest on the small of her back for a moment, then he was putting the key to his Escalade in her hand and walking out the door. Teresa turned back around to face the other woman.

“You two are closer.” Teresa stayed silent. “It makes me wonder if I made the right choice,” she sighed. Her voice took on a motherly tone as she continued. “I’m worried for James. He’s gotten soft. That’s dangerous- for all of us, but especially for him.” A flare of anger burst in Teresa’s chest. She knew what Camila was doing- knew what she was trying to say. But James wasn’t weak- he wasn’t a liability. Not to Camila or her business.

But Teresa pushed the anger down. It was the reaction Camila wanted. “I’ll talk to him,” she said with a neutral voice. Teresa knew that James wasn’t the reason she had kept Teresa. And she didn’t want to be in that house longer than she had to be. “So,” she started, “what did you need me for?”

Camila motioned for Teresa to sit down. She didn’t. An arched brow was the only response from the other woman- but it was enough. “Kelly Ann Van Awken has asked you to come to a dinner party at her home soon. Go. Keep her happy and make sure our business is not discussed with her…friends,” Camila sneered. She waited for a reaction, but Teresa didn’t give one. She could have texted her or called for this.

“Was that all?”

The pleasant façade fell. The Camila she had seen her first day, the Camila she had seen at El Limpiador’s- that was the Camila she saw now. “No.” Her tone had lost any affection it might have had before. “Loyalty…is the most important thing in this world. It is a gift, one that is earned. And James’ loyalty belongs to me.” Teresa felt her fingers tingle slightly. “He has stood by my side for years- through wars and death and little _girlfriends_. He has my loyalty like I have his. But you…” she said, words sharp and cold. “You may be smart, and cunning, but you haven’t earned _my_ loyalty.”

“I’ve done nothing but help you- help your business.”

Camila waved a hand dismissively. “And you’ve almost cost me _my_ business. Don’t forget whose house you’re in- or who built it. It wasn’t you. Your happy little world- your marriage- it can all go away, like that,” she said, snapping her fingers loudly. “You have Pote following like a good soldier- fine.” Teresa turned and walked to the door. “But if you try and take James…” Teresa pulled opened the door. “You have more to lose than I do, Teresa...” The door slammed behind her.

But Teresa still heard her.

“…Including your husband.”

~*~*~

She didn’t tell James what Camila said. She didn’t tell Pote, either. Instead she stayed quiet and watched. She watched the way James acted with Camila. She looked for signs that things were changing in their relationship. They weren’t- James was the same as he had been since the beginning. Even when Camila gave Teresa dangerous jobs or jobs were her body was more interesting to a buyer than their product. James came to each job with the same focus and the same reservations as always. With Camila he was the same.

It was with Teresa that he was different.

“She’s being paranoid.” Teresa turned at the sound of James’ voice. “Camila. She’s being paranoid. Thinks you’re planning to leave and that I’ll go with you.” Teresa took in the way his thumb rubbed against his fingers. She watched him take a deep breath. “She’s pushing me- with these new jobs. She wants me to react, say no.”

Teresa took James’ hand and pulled him to sit next to her on their sofa. She wasn’t surprised that James had noticed the change from Camila. She had seen the looks Pote had been giving in the meetings and if Pote saw it then of course James had too. “Then don’t. Pote is always with me at meetings if you aren’t. Nothing will happen.” But James was already shaking his head. “James-“

“She’s pulling Pote. She’s gonna start sending Matthews instead.” Teresa frowned. Matthews had been at the warehouse- all of the girls tried to stay away from him. James looked over and saw her expression. “It’s like I told you. She’s picking someone who won’t protect you- someone who isn’t loyal to you.”

Teresa thought over the new information. She ran a hand through her hair, gripping tightly at the base of her neck. “So what? We can play by her rules but nothing will change her mind.” James kept silent. Teresa ran through options, but there weren’t many- end things with James, keep doing what they were doing, or get out. But that was too risky, they weren’t prepared to split from Camila and they didn’t have the resources or connections to hide from her if she came after them- and she would.

So Teresa leaned into James’ chest- felt him breathe as he held her close.

And she didn’t say anything.

~*~*~

James looked at the papers spread out on their kitchen table. Teresa could see his anger in the stiff way he held himself. She could feel his disbelief in the way he kept rereading each paper. And she could hear his fear when he asked what she wanted to do. Because there was no way that Teresa could stay with Camila after this.

Kelly Ann’s party had been an excuse to get Teresa to her house without Camila. She had taken her to Cole’s study and opened a safe. Teresa had watched as she pulled out a folder with documents for the purchase of a trawler company Camila had wanted. Teresa had seen it already- had been there when Camila signed the papers. But instead of seeing ‘Camila Vargas’ in black ink at the bottom of each page, Teresa saw her own name.

So Teresa had taken the papers. She had gone home. She had showed James. Because she couldn’t think of anything else to do until then. Teresa let out a bitter laugh as James sat down across from her. His head came up to look at her with furrowed brows. “She lectured me about loyalty. She signed these papers weeks ago and then lectured me about _loyalty._ ”

“Teresa. What do you want to do?”

Teresa shook her head. What she wanted to do was run. But she was tired of running. She was sick of looking over her shoulder, wondering when a Vargas was going to put a bullet in her. And there was nowhere to go. If she left, she’d be away from Tony. She couldn’t take him with her- not yet. She would have no protection. “I don’t know,” she sighed tiredly.

James pushed his chair back from the table, the legs scraping loudly against the floor. He stood up and walked to where Teresa was sitting. He turned her chair so that she was facing him before pulling her to her feet. Teresa lifted a brow in question but didn’t fight him. Instead she let her feet follow behind James as he led her upstairs to the bedroom.

Teresa watched from her place by the door and James began to take off his shoes. A few second later his shirt followed, then his pants. The clothes were draped over the bench at the foot of the bed- Teresa had gotten it a month after the wedding. But her eyes left the bench and moved back to James. He had pulled on some sweats and now he stood in front of her, one of his t-shirts over his bare shoulder.

His hands moved to the top of her jacket, slowly pushing off her shoulders, down her arms, and off. Next he unbuttoned the blouse she had worn that day, removing it from her body. She stood in her bra, watching the way his eyes dipped for a moment before falling to the waistband of her pants. His hands went to undo them, but Teresa brushed his hands away gently. ”I can do it,” she whispered.

Her pants fell down her legs and she stepped out of them. James helped her pull on the t-shirt he had been holding. Then he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him and she let her head rest on his shoulder. They stayed that way for a long while- James giving her a moment to breathe. Then he pulled back, moving to stand behind her and guiding her to the bed. It was still new- this closeness. Even though more than four months had passed since Guero left, things still felt off-limits sometimes. But the feeling faded more quickly now.

The two crawled into bed, Teresa curling up against James’ side. She felt the rumble of his words in his chest when he spoke. “I’m not gonna let you take the fall for her.” Teresa shifted slightly to see his face. His eyes were on the wall in front of him and there was no emotion on his face. But she could hear something in his voice. “We grab Tony. We move some money around. I’ve got enough for us to get somewhere out of Camila’s reach and lay low for a while. And I know you’ve got something stashed somewhere.” She nodded, thinking of the go bag she kept in her closet and the international bank accounts she had.

“Kelly Ann thinks that the papers we have are the only copies. She went through his computer, but didn’t find anything.” James’ shot her a skeptical look. She knew he didn’t like Kelly Ann much, but they wouldn’t even know what Camila did without her. “She’s a lawyer in her own right, James. She’s outgoing, not stupid.” Teresa waited for a response, but he didn’t give one. She sighed. “I want to get Tony last. Camila knows where he is- she’s probably watching him. If we move him-“

“She’ll know things are changing.” Teresa nodded. “Alright, money and a new place. Then we get Tony. Pote’s gonna follow you wherever you end up.” She smiled at the annoyed tone in James’ voice. They might respect each other, but that didn’t mean they liked each other. “I’ll talk to him. We gotta move fast. A week, tops.” Teresa looked around the room. She liked it here, she liked the things they had and the way they were finally making it theirs instead of letting it be a place two people lived in. But if leaving meant staying together and staying safe…

“Okay,” she said softly, lacing her fingers with James’.

“Okay.”

~*~*~

They had planned things well. Teresa would continue moving product in Malta. King George had agreed to do transport for her. She had made a deal with the Colombians for product as well. After Camila’s betrayal, Teresa didn’t care about using Camila’s connections to further her own business. So by the end of the week the only thing left to do was leave.

But everything went wrong.

Isabella was kidnapped. Camila went mad with worry. Her paranoia was so much worse than it had been. Her distrust only grew. So she kept James close. So close that Teresa hadn’t even seen him in the two days leading up to them leaving. And Camila hadn’t given her access to anything- not her house, not the warehouses, not even Pote.

But James had called her. He told her to go to their house, to pack his truck and go. They had talked about it- what to do if things went wrong. She wasn’t sure she wanted to leave without him, though. But the papers from Kelly Ann mocked her from her bedside table. She couldn’t risk it- Tony needed her. So she loaded up the truck and drove to the private airport that George was meeting them at.

She didn’t get James’ text until it was too late. _‘Change of plans. Camila’s at the airport. Text George and reset the meet point.’_ She read the message as she stopped in front of the runway that George was supposed to meet them at. Instead of it being empty, though, Teresa watched as Camila and Epifanio stepped off of a private plane. James followed a minute later and Teresa flinched at the way he froze on the steps of the plane when he saw his truck.

Teresa got out of the car and walked towards Camila. She saw James pull his gun, keeping it low as he walked up behind Epifanio. “So,” Camila sneered. “You were just going to run. You were going to leave James?” the older woman smirked, her arrogance rising when she realized that James wasn’t moving to stand beside Teresa. “I told you, loyalty is earned. I guess you still haven’t earned his, yet.”

Teresa forced herself not to look at James. She kept her eyes on Camila. “You set me up. You were going to let me take the fall for your trawler company. I saw the second set of papers.” Camila scoffed, but Teresa didn’t give her a chance to say anything. “You speak of loyalty, but you have none. You used your own daughter to force Epifanio to give you money. You used Guero to get to me- to get to James. The only loyalty you care about it who’s loyal to you. And you’re right- I’m not loyal to you.”

“I will shoot you down before I let you walk away and threaten my business. There can only be one queen and it won’t be you.”

Teresa shook her head. “I don’t want to fight you, Camila. I just want to be free of you. I’m not trying to take your business or compete. But I’m not going to let you control me or my life anymore.” But something had changed in Camila’s eyes. The fear and paranoia had turned into rage. Teresa watched as Camila turned and pulled Epifanio’s gun. Teresa reacted, her own gun coming up, pointing at Camila. Teresa fired first- but instead of Camila, Epifanio went down.

Teresa didn’t have a chance to process what had just happened- what it meant. James was pulling her to the truck and pushing her into the passenger’s seat. “I texted George when I saw you. He’s meeting us at the docks.” But Teresa barely heard him. Her mind was caught on the image of Isabella running from the plane- running to her father. The father Teresa had just killed. “Teresa. It wasn’t your fault. They know what this business is. He knew what the risks were. This is not on you.”

But his words meant nothing. She remembered what it was like to be the center of her parents’ world- to be loved and cared for. She remembered what it was to laugh with her father and dance with her mother. And she remembered the day her parents died. She hadn’t understood the rules then- the Cartel’s rules meant nothing to her. All she had known was that her parents were dead.

And now she was the reason Isabella Vargas knew that same pain.

~*~*~

George’s boat was nice. White and gold of course, but there were no rocket launcher being played with this time. Teresa leaned against the side rail, looking out at the sun reflecting on the water. She had never seen a sunset like this. It was calming, feeling the breeze against her skin, the saltiness in the air. It was a peaceful end to a chaotic day.

Behind her Teresa could hear George laughing with his crew. She could hear the low rumble of Pote’s voice- probably complaining. But the sounds brought her some comfort. It pushed away the guilt she had felt at the airport. It drowned out the fear she felt as she thought of what Camila would do next. A shout from tony had her turning around. But he was smiling, watching the group of men playing a game. That was what she wanted for him- laughter, not pain. She would sacrifice anything for that kid.

“Hey.”

James stepped up beside her and Teresa leaned into him. “Hey. Is everything okay?” James had been making calls for hours. Favors were called in, information shared, and she knew that some bridges were burned too. He looked tired, but the stress that had been radiating off of him seemed to have faded. His eyes were on Tony and George’s crew, but Teresa knew his min was already in Malta, planning first steps.

“I got a connect in Europe. They’ll make introductions. Set us up outside of any claimed territory.” She nodded, moving to stand in front of him, her chest to his. His arm came up to hold her close. It wasn’t much- Guero would have been all over her- but she was happy with this. James looked down at her with a half smirk. “I always knew you were trouble.”

Teresa smiled as she remembered another time James had called her that. Back when things were still shaky, back when Epifanio was her biggest problem and James was just some guy. “I’m worth it though, right?” James tilted his head like he was thinking, the smirk growing a little bit wider. She pulled back slightly, eyebrow raised.

“We’ll see how things go in Malta,” he said, his smirk turning into a grin. Teresa moved to walk away, but James’ arm around her waist kept her from moving. She didn’t see this side of him often- the playful side. But she was going to enjoy it while she could. She was going to let herself be playful, too. They deserved that- with each other if not with anyone else. James pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “You’re worth the trouble, Teresa. Even back then, you were worth it.”

She turned around and leaned against James’ chest. His arms wrapped around her and she let out a content sigh. She hadn’t thought she could have this. She hadn’t thought she could want this again. But she did. And now as she closed her eyes and took in the scent of James’ cologne mixed with the salty air, Teresa felt like she would finally be alright- _they_ would be alright.

Maybe one day she’d thank Camila for making her marry James.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I planned to have a smut-tastic epilogue. But my brain died, so that didn't happen.  
> However, it is still a possibility if anyone wants it enough.  
> Also, in case you couldn't tell- this was not a masterpiece of literary art. But the idea pooped into my head so I wrote it.


End file.
